Just take all of my money, please.

If you have ever been to downtown Chicago with me, you know I have such a soft spot for homeless people. I'm one of those people that damn well knows most of these people are just acting homeless to make money but I still think, "Maybe this one is real. I have an extra dollar anyway." Being this way is absolutely terrible in Barcelona because there are homeless people/beggars everywhere. Having been here for two weeks, I have categorized the homeless people and beggars.

Disclaimer: I have not actually given anyone money yet, still trying to act like a local.

Type 1: The Pity Puppy

It is proven that I am 45% more likely to give you my money if you have a dog with you while you are begging. These people have the dogs perfectly trained to lay in their laps under their coats and give you puppy dog eyes as you pass by. The dog just looks so sad and cold and tired and helpless and I want to give this man my entire wallet to just make this dog happy. Effectiveness rating: an impressive 9.5.

Type 2: The "Help me, I'm poor" 

These people just sit and look down with their hoods up and their arms bundled into their raggedy coats. They won't make eye contact with you. Just sit there with their little cup in front of them. They are usually sitting in front of a bag full of their belongings. They are giving off the vibe, "I'm too sad and poor to have the energy to ask you for money just feel bad for me and give me money." I can't say it doesn't pull at my heartstrings. Effectiveness rating: a solid 8.

Type 3: The Performer

This type of beggar (I assume they are not homeless, but it doesn't seem like they have jobs) puts their "musical" talent to the test. They usually station themselves in the Metro corridors but sometimes they will be on the streets playing. I have seen guitarists, violinists, singers, accordionists, and last but not least a RECORDIST (I don't know what else to call someone who plays the recorder for money, but I also feel like this is my calling, right Erin?). If you are extremely lucky, you will get a performer ON the Metro with you. They carry an amp like a rolling suitcase and go into the car and perform their instrument of choice. They then go around with their cups collecting money from the passengers then move on to the next car. Seeing as they are working for their money, I give them an effectiveness rating of 7.

Type 4: The Pushy Poor Person

This type of beggar or homeless person is typically an older woman wearing a scarf on her head, a sweater, and a long skirt. They literally all wear the same thing. They are aggressive in their begging technique and will come up to you on the street and shove their cup in your face and start speaking some language I don't even understand. If you make eye contact, that is game over and they will follow you wherever you are going begging you for money. Because they are so annoying and I'm not positive they are even homeless, I give them an effectiveness rating of 3.5.

Type 5: The Obviously Not Homeless

Today, I saw a man literally wearing clothes probably worth about the same as my clothes were worth just sitting on a bench with a cup in his hand. He wasn't even trying in the least bit and it was obvious he was not homeless. Like, what did you lose your home and all of the sudden lose every single belonging you have ever owned and only kept the (rather nice) clothes on your back? You also look freshly showered. Sorry, but you are going to have to try a little bit harder to win my buck. Effectiveness rating: 0.

I'm wondering how long I will be able to hold out until I cave and give them some money. My heart says, "Just empty your wallet. Look at the puppy and just give him the whole damn wallet." But my brain says, "You're stupid they probably aren't homeless just walk away now." My heart will win in the end.

Heading to Berlin tomorrow. With that, I leave you with a lyric from Lady Gaga's "Scheibe"-"I don't speak German but I can if you'd like."

Angela